You know what an amino acid is;

You think the five food groups consist of:
1) Fruit
2) vegetables
3) rice milk
4) loprofin
5) vege chips;

You suspect that people who don't realise bread contains protein have inferior intelligence;

"No, it's not an allergy" becomes a daily mantra;

"Yes, it's sort of like diabetes" comes in at a close second;

You spend more time reading in shopping centres than shopping;

You are elated when your weekly grocery bill comes to $310;

You have a panic attack when your child says she needs to be sick;

Doctor's stare at you blankly and consider calling psychiatric services when you arrive at emergency and explain the problem;

You can pronounce isovaleric academia correctly and you're game enough to have a crack at beta-methylcrotonylglycinuria;

You don't understand why anyone wouldn't have at least 3 sets of kitchen scales;

The top of your fridge resembles a pharmacy;

Half of the papers stuck on your fridge are written in Latin;

Your 5-year-old frequently asks complete strangers - "has this got too much protein?"

Any subsequent children are removed from you at birth to have their heels stabbed every 3 hours in "special care".

You are constantly reminded how precious life is and just how damn lucky you are to be "normal".

Rachael Sharman